Knowing When To Say When

I've never been a very good writer. For the most part I try to splash my thoughts as quickly as possible on the page, than edit them into something resembling 'readable'. That makes me more of a re-writer than a writer.

Along that twisty train of though, I'm not really sure how to say that I'm in the midst of a personal quandary, but decisions are going to be made in the next several months that will likely impact my life for decades. And none of the decisions are standalone: they each impact one another like some fucked up partial differential system of equations. In other words: I am a mess.

Naturally, as with most issues in my life, the biggest one has to do with Woman. I'm happy, I think shes happy. We're pretty happy. Its been three years of pretty happy. Its been so fucking happy that her parents, my parents, her cousins, friends, and random bar acquaintances are asking me when I'm going to 'pop the question'.

There are problems of course. For starters, my raging libido and her inability to give a shit about it. I dont want my life to be the cliched married guy that cant get sex from his wife. And I should mention that the only way I'm willing to separate a marriage is with a firearm.

But now we are thinking of moving (read: I need to get the hell out of Santa Barbara), and I'm pretty sure there needs to be more of a commitment than 'Yes babe, I'm pretty sure I'll marry you soon'. I've been using that one too long and its become ineffective.

Anyway, I'm not 'popping' anything until I get laid in a timely manner.