What Now?

The holidays have left me too tired to be anything other than apathetic. I'm tired, dizzy, and back at work.

Craigslist Again

You're probably thinking i have some issues with this whole Craigslist thing. What is this, like the third post about CL in 3 weeks? Your probably thinking that if I hate it so much, why the shit am I on there all the goddamn time, and complaining about it here when I'm not.

Yeah, I have a CL 'problem'. I have Craig to thank for my apartment, my leather sofa, my cats, and even the Woman (see, this is why I have a special affinity towards the W4M section). I check it daily.

As if the women that post on CL weren't bad enough, now guys are taking it in their own hands to post rebuttals in the same section. If you have something to say, write a bitter diatribe on your own damn blog where no one is in danger of ever reading it.

Mostly it pisses me off when guys post obnoxiously mean comments about the size of a womans adam's apple or fictitious bulge in their pants. Jesus fucking christ man! Do you know how rare it is to see an attractive girl on the fucking site that doesn't want a Kalvin Kline model billionaire (apparently they all want to date the Woman's ex)? Why the hell do you need to denigrate this girl?

Besides, even if she has a peener, shes probably hotter than any girl your ever going to find in your parents basement. Leave em alone and go back to 'batin to your family albums ya putz.

Etiquette

What is the etiquette of responding to comments left on ones own blog?

Common sense urges the blog owner to paste a response right along side the original. But I think this is presumptuous: it leaves the original postee with the responsibility of checking for subsequent posts. And maybe the postee just doesn't give enough of a shit to come back and check you out.

On the other hand, the point of a blog is to vent anger and bile onto the general public. It doesn't have to be original content, but if your just constantly writing entries to answer comments, you're in very serious danger of wanking yourself.

I guess thats niether here nor there.

My main point for today is the aimed at the women who insist on remaining friends with their ex. Yeah, I know you guys have been friends for a really long time, but staying out until six in the morning drinking with the guy, than coming home just in time to see me getting ready for work is pretty much guaranteed to piss me off. I dont think I'm even being all together unreasonable about this.

Despite the fact that this man is tall, handsome, European, and richer than I can reasonably ever hope to be, I refuse to be intimidated. Hopefully he has a small cock. Or secretly gay. Either one would pretty much be fine by me.

Holy Fucking Shit Batman!

There are Christmas Carolers outside my office window.

Let us put aside the fact that Christmas is still blessedly a good week and a half away, and that they are a fucking nuisance to the general public.

Do yo have any idea how rediculous carolers look, singing about a white Christmas, while sweating in balmy seventy degree weather?

Not As Clever As Previously Believed

So you know what you shouldn't do when you're drunk, tired, and in a bad mood?

I could think of quiet a few things actually, but the answer I was looking for is: "Lets Talk About Our Relationship".

I should have run out of the room as soon as she said that. Now its the morning after and I'm nursing a hangover at work, diving between each three states titled in this blog.

Side note: Having the facts on my side apparently in no way increased my chances of winning an argument with the Woman.

Indeed, presenting the kind of evidence that concretely destroyed her argument pretty much just pissed her off and banished me to the frozen tundras of the living room couch.

I Hate You All, So Very Much

Tis the season for all sorts of bullshit. Why the crap do all of the deadlines need to be all on the same day? Is there some sick fucking compulsion telling all project managers that they absolutely must have that project done before the holidays? Fuck all of you. I could not possibly hate you more than I already do.

Oh, and another thing. Mr. Too Fucking Young to be my goddamn manager? Yeah, if I'm busting my ass, running 60 hour work weeks, generally not leaving the office, etc., you may want to go ahead and skip that chapter in your Personnel Management Handbook that says I need a stern talking to about my ability to get to the office on time. You unbelievable cocksucker, I was working from home all fucking morning!

As bad as all that, I think I have it pretty good compared to some of my readers. I may have a conniption if the ambient temperature drops below 60, but some of you guys are soldiering on in (what is generally considered) ungodly weather, and lack of electricity.

Thank you for the plug Miss Blonde Curls, but I can't take credit for Fark. I just use it like I own it.

And uh, here is a site for all you ladies. Look for me under "Arms".

Fark You Very Much

Its not that I’m in love with saying ‘fuck you’ to anonymous internet audiences, its that the word so often reflects the appropriate emotional context of what I am trying to express. If you can come up with something better.. well.. keep it to yourself. I probably don’t want to hear it.

I like to pass the workweek by looking as busy as possible while doing the least. It helps to have something to read.

Which is where my love affair with fark.com originated. The articles are interesting, the headlines are clever, and the message boards are filled with the lowest dregs that humanity has to offer. If these people all came together into one large gathering in the middle of the desert (or something) and a nuclear device was detonated as close as possible, the average world IQ would instantaneously rise by a couple dozen points.

You could probably make that case for detonations in or around LA and still have a valid point.

Anyway, like a complete moron, like a person who was genetically geared towards stupidity, I participated in a discussion about (what else) politics. During the ensuing three hours I had cause to use my favorite phrase on many of occasion. Except Fark filters ‘Fuck’ into ‘Fark’, but I think the spirit of my posts got through.

Now tell me, if you were arguing with this person, and he was using every sophist trick in the book, and he was saying that suicide bombings are A-Ok, wouldn’t you want to immediately kick him in his tinny little scrotum?

My goal for the next foreseeable future is to invent a way to transmit a cock punch through IP/TCP protocols.

Edit: Apparently the douche bag removed his photo from the profile. Let me assure you, his visage inspired the kind of violence usually reserved for soccer riots.

Fuck Politics

I understand that last post about Barry was a bit off the trail. I got sentimental while watching the documentary and wanted to share the joy. Fuck you very much if it's a bother. Go read The Superficial or something.

In other news, as I am typing this, I am interrupted by actual fireworks going on outside the office window.

Aaaand, you should probably check out Gertrude. She was pretty much awesome to start with, but now that shes got a job she may be unstoppable.

"Conservative" And Other Dirty Words

I was going to avoid politics at all cost on this here bliggity blog.

But politics is not easily gotten rid off: once in your system it coils around your brain stem, lying dormant but never gone. Kind of like herpes. Which may be why people tend to avoid politically oriented blogs so assiduously.

On the other hand, I have absolutely no expectations here. I couldn't give two tugs of a dead dogs cock if anybody reads it.

Lets dive in, shall we:

I watched the documentary put together by CC Goldwater about her grandfather Barry Goldwater, Mr Conservative.

Goldwater had always been a bit of a hero for me when I was studying political science. He was the guy both sides loved to hate, which is an automatic sign that he was doing something right. The Left hated him because he was against government intervention into the lives of its citizens (read: he fought against welfare, subsidies, and labor unions.), and the Right hated him because he was against government intervention into the lives of citizens (morality, he believed, belonged to the individual. Not the government). Consequently, Mr Conservative was a vehement proponent of gay rights and abortion.

He also has an uncanny resemblance to my grandfather. So there is that.

Go watch the documentary on HBO. Check out the Wiki.

New Find, Old News

I ran into Acidman by way of this guy.

I suppose perhaps some clarifications are in order: I've been on blogger for a little over three years now. Most of that time has been devoted to politically oriented blogs, screaming obscenities at people because they were idiots, and they needed to understand that.

This here blog is my attempt to have a purely selfish outlet for the things I wish I could have said on those blogs, as well as daily life. Thats why its pretty much anonymous.

Acidman is a special find for me. He managed to balance an intensly personal blog with political leanings, without the crutch of anonymity. I read all of his archives, reaching the end (the beginning), wishing there were more.

Andrea Dworkin Was a Bitter Cunt

I consider myself to be a feminist. That is to say, I have the audacity to believe that men and women are complete equals in all practical matters.

Andrea Dworkin believed otherwise and for some goddamn reason people called her a feminist as well. I get it, your fat, your ugly, and your husband beat you (Really? A Provo-Dutch Anarchist with violent tendencies? Shocking!) to the point where you were forced into prostitution in a foreign country just to stay alive. I can see how you would have a shitty attitude.

Why lash out at pornography? Equating porn with rape (indeed, she went on to label all heterosexual intercourse, consensual or otherwise, as rape) demeaned victims of actual rape, and dehumanized the actresses who made a conscious choice to make a living by making love (ok, ok, fucking) on camera.

Her justifications for these insane beliefs were that physical differences between men and women create a balance of power favorable to men. Of course its much more convoluted than that, but basically because men have the penis and want to stick it in the woman, they have all the power and woman have none. Also, women are too stupid to know better than to be prostitutes or porn stars, and need to be protected from themselves.

There is a word for a person who believes that women are inherently weaker or stupider than men. And no, that word is not 'feminist'.

And of course here is the web-site that led me on this rampage of woman hating:
The ideological offspring of Dworkin, shat out of her hate filled ass.

Always On

A blog that actually surprised me can be found here. Take some time to look around. See if you can count up the number of times the word 'squirt' appears on the page.

I suppose I've always known there existed a breed of women with an overabundance of sexual energy. The surprise here is that I didn't really find the whole exhibitionist attitude she's adopted very attractive. It strikes me as too graphic (see: photo of post-coital bed sheets), detailed, and overly pandering. I am by no means squeamish: the porn I am accustomed to would make a mink breeder blush, yet her narrative left me feeling greasy, like I missed my morning shower.

Maybe its the whole squirting thing.

Still, if thats what gets you off than by all means, I support the endeavor.

Not A Blogger

I havent been posting my most intimate thoughts for the enjoyment of complete strangers for very long, so maybe I missed the whole golden age of the blogger.

Aside from the one interesting and well written blog I found (you know who you are), clicking on the 'Next Blog>>' button has brought me nothing but paranoia and low level annoyance.

Paranoia because I never know if one of the next blogs is going to flash something completely inappropriate to my work screen, and annoyance due to the fact that half the time I get so fed up with it that I'd rather do work anyway. Work people! That has got to be the last resort of the terminally bored!

Anyway, it seems that most of the blog-o-sphere is now filled with spammers, ten year old Asian girls, and porn (btw, what the shit are "FAT PUNK TITS"?).

I have nothing against the latter duo, as indeed I have found porn to be a constant companion. Its the spammers that piss me right the fuck off.

This last Russian one has the distinction of "Greatest Post Title":
Транспорт и грузоперевозки

Maybe mister monster pants should get together with little Ms. Asian.

Bonus: It looks like most of the Russian based spammers are deeply and profoundly concerned about the length and girth of my penis.

Recriminations, Apologies

Maybe you surfed on this blog, or maybe I surfed on yours (totally at random) and commented (necessitating a response), or maybe you have a special relationship with your Google toolbar whereby noticing that you are a) Bitter b) Confused & c) Horny it sent you to me directly.

Regardless, you are likely reading this without knowing much about me. You're also reading the latest posts first, and than if your sufficiently entertained, you will read the older ones in hopes of further shenanigans.

This qualifier / apology wont make sense without reading the first few posts on the blog:

The Woman and I have an amazing relationship. This is the Woman I love, and I will likely make her 'honest' some day soon. The posts in question represent the exception, rather than the rule.

Craigslist W4M, Part the Second

I get that your posting because you want to find the next object of your derision, settle down, and raise lots of ugly wee bastards. I get it, and I applaud you for your efforts in spamming the world with rough copies of your annoying self.

Consider: Adding "I am NOT looking for SEX" anywhere in your post is counterproductive.

How about "I am not looking for sex until you pay for dinner"?
Or "I'm looking for sex, but you have to eat me out first"?
Or even "I'm looking for sex, but only in the confines of a committed relationship".

There is absolutely nothing more terrifying to the male psyche than a women that is "Not looking for sex". What good are you than? (I keeed, I keeed). But seriously folks, try being just a little less bitchy in your craigslist endeavors, you may find it working to your advantage.

Gynephobia: Fear of Craigslist Women

Reading the CL W4M postings is not recommended for men with self-esteem issues. Or height Issues. Or weight issues.

Really, unless your over 6 foot, have the physique of an underwear model, have more money than the British empire at its zenith, and quote ".. are a REAL man ..", you shouldn't even be browsing the site.

What exactly is "a real man" anyway? My guess is that while you (the woman writing this add) were eatings bom boms out of the tub and watching lifetime (movies for vaginas), an image of the ideal man imprinted itself on your mushy frontal lobe. Since than, you've been dreaming of the knight in shinning armor come to take you away from your double-wide. BTW, no matter how rich or handsome the guy is, he cant change the fact that your ass has exploded and taken the rest of your body with it.

Similarly, what is the deal with the ridiculous height requirements? You've stated you're 5 foot 4 inches and a man over 6 feet is "an absolute must". Really? A must? If I ever post a craigslist personal add, I'm going to have DD bust size as "A Must!!1!".

Than there are the women that lie about their age. Even through that blurry photo of you with your 5 cats, I can count the wrinkles like rings on a tree. You are not twenty five.

I'm at the point in my emotional career where woman who are so obviously fucked in the head have no appeal. I don't want to fix you, and I don't think I can replace the father figure you so obviously crave in your life.

Anyway.

For a good time, try taking a look at this site. See if you can track down the name for your own phobia.

Sliding Towards Bitter

Horny was taken care of with the application of vigorous masturbation.

Confused is still in there somewhere, too stupid to find the directions to my frontal lobe, so Bitter has taken the opportunity to take control.

Edit: Ok, so the sex was really good last night. I've mellowed out the Bitter quiet a bit, but now I'm just Confused. Which is fine I guess, its the natural way of things.

Watching Your 'Stories'

Fuck 'Grays Anatomy'. And fuck 'Top Modle', along with all the rest of the shitty reality TV shows Bravo is hosting with the express intent of sucking up my girlfriend's time and energy.

Fuck me harder if she ever actually finds this blog or catches me writing it.

Posting, The Second: Revenge of the First Post

I am freely willing to admit that I am a freak of nature.

None of my other guy friends masturbate as much as me (Except for Ron. But he was a teenager, and its a different story altogether), and I well may be more sexually demanding than any of your (numerous) previous boyfriends.

Still, we agreed on 3 to 4 times a week. I sacrifice, you sacrifice.

Why is this turning into 3 to 4 times a month? Why are you: headachey / not in the mood / hungry / full / tired / sleepy / on the rag / watching TV every time I try to get even remotely affectionate?

You realize you put more time and energy on the retarded fucking shows you watch than on sex?

Posting, The First

You know what? Fuck that. I was going to write a post extolling the virtues of the working class male, the guy that toils endlessly with little thanks and no recognition.

Fuck that. I'm going to go the direct route, and just say this without any roundabout parable: I get my ass up every day, work for 9-10 hours, than come home to what?. Like a moron, I work to pay the rent, buy the groceries, keep the lights on, and keep your ass in school.

You wake up every day at eleven, leisurely stroll on to class, than get home and watch TV.

The fucking house is a mess, the sink is filthy, and the only food thats waiting for me is in the freezer, ready to be nuked.

And god forbid, I ask for something like a blowjob. That would be completely un-egalitarian of me.